How to Explain...

i am having a lot of trouble explaining this kink i have to my partner. How do you tell someone you want to be spanked? i mean...i already told her, and she's clear on that part. After i stumbled and blushed and tried to make any sense of what i was trying to communicate to her, she simply said, "So, you like to be spanked."

Yes...i like to be spanked.

That should be easy enough, but it's not. It's not just about being spanked...it's everything that goes along with submitting to someone in that way. It's the scolding, it's the power exchange, it's the control i want taken away from me... i don't want to just be Mindlessly spanked. i want there to be Reason's why i'm being spanked. i want there to be expectations placed upon me. i want structure, and accountability..and i don't want to have to ask for a spanking, Ever again. i want her to know, by my actions, when i'm begging for her discipline.

It seems So easy to me and natural. But how do i take that ease and place it in the hands of someone who's never even heard of this lifestyle? How do i explain to a vanilla that seems so intrigued by this new world i'm trying to open up to her?

i'm even having very strong Dominant thoughts about playing with her...maybe to show her what i want? i'm not sure why it's coming out that way because i am the submissive...and i have this very strong desire to turn her over my knee. That's Crazy!

Agony...

That's what i feel of late. Pure Agony! i have a crush, and she won't even look at me! i try to get closer to her without seeming so creepy, but i'm Failing...Miserably! i think i'm just gonna shut up now and leave her alone before she Totally gets rid of me. She's making me bleed!

i got spanked today...

i got spanked today. With the Jokari paddle! i know i deserved it. She said, "You need a Spanking! Go get your paddle." So, i did.

She keeps it in my panties drawer so i will see it every morning as a reminder of what happens in this house when young women misbehave...

When i returned with the paddle, she made me stand at the foot of my bed and told me to pull my shorts and panties down. "ALL the way, down...to your ankles, sly." So, i did.

She put her hand on my shoulder and pushed forward until she had me bent over the bed, my bottom all exposed and vulnerable...

"Crack!" went the first lick, and i about came off the bed! i couldn't believe how hard it was. Mommy was Mad! Then "Crack!" went the second lick, and i started to cry. i usually don't cry when i get spanked. By the third "CRACK!" She started scolding me. After that, i lost count. i was in another world. i could still hear the crisp sound of the wood against my bare skin, and my bottom was a blazing fire, but all that was to me in that moment was her tone as she transformed me back into the obedient young lady she expects me to be, "At All/Crack! Times/CRACK!"

And my bottom is still hot. :)

love,
~sly