Monday, November 22, 2010

How i know i'm Her's...

She said, very calmly, "If you open your mouth about it, you Will be in trouble. Do you understand me, sly? You Will be in trouble..." And i was surprised at the impact her gentle tone had on me. She was very firm, yet so collected, with a tiny hint of "I dare you" all mixed into one. i didn't want her words to end. i wanted her to continue telling me what would happen if i choose to ignore her wishes. i found myself flirting with the idea of flat out defiance in the name of curiosity. Eager to meet with my Domme on that level, yet still so afraid...

Crippled with desire, but anchored with patience, i feel i'm going mad at times. Just when i feel she's almost forgotten about our relationship, a single remark from her lips assures me i'm Her's. It's always unexpected, very casual, and natural. Our roots grow deep between us. Did i tell you i've known her forever? She's a childhood friend, from elementary school. i can't even say when or how i met her exactly, because she has just always been there. She remembers me at the skating rink. She said some guy ran over her arm with his skates and broke it after she fell, and i sat there with her until help came. Another time, she remembers them announcing couples skate, and she was all bummed out about not having anyone to skate with. She said me and Ellen (my Bestie!) grabbed her and another girl up and we all couple skated together, and she kissed me on the cheek. Sadly, i don't remember any of that! We Were children of the 70's, remember...

But i do remember her in high school. She was Hot! Red hair, tight ass...Jordache comes to mind when i think back. We shared personal finance together. i made her laugh a lot, and we'd cut up the entire class. She would always smile at me when we passed in the hall way. She hung with the more popular crowd, but, like myself, she fit in with All the different high school clicks. i remember seeing her in the girl's bathroom a lot, skipping class and smoking. We were All smokers back then. Ellen still has her smoking permit that she forged her Mama's signature to. Her picture on it looks like she's 10 years old! It's funny looking back and seeing ourselves as babies...trying to be so grown up and cool.

Sometimes it seems unreal to me that i've made such a vital connection with someone that was just so close to me for so many years. i'm weary, at times, of moving forward. Worried about what could things could turn. Very content in this unique relationship that's developing, i'm ready for more as well. i'm ready for Growth! i'm ready for change! i'm ready to jump into this great abyss and find what's at it's core. But tonight, i hold on to her warning me, in that soft, sexy voice of her's as it echos through my mind, "If you open your mouth about it, you Will be in trouble. Do you understand me, sly? You Will be in trouble..."

And that's how i know i'm Her's.


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